What an emotional time I’m having in my life. Sometimes life seems so good. You know what your doing and where your going then sometimes it gets tough. Things change and choices need to be made. Well, right now things are tough for me. I’m trying to make the best decisions I can about my life but its hard. My mind goes in all kinds of directions and scenarios. The “what ifs” and the “is that the right choice” all come into play. I’m trying to figure out what step I need to take with career and my personal life right now. Its scary when it seems like chapters and closing even though you know this new one could be a great decision… but what if its not?? I know I’m speaking in general term right now because I’m not really in a place where I want to lay it all out there but in time you’ll find out whats going on as my chapters unfold.
Today I woke up already a bit down and depressed. Somedays I just wake up like that for no reason at all. I have been sticking to my workout plans and really doing well with my eating with an occasional splurge here and there. Well, I got on the scale (which I don’t do often AT ALL anymore) and I was only down ONE stinking pound in the 7 WEEKS that I’ve been eating great and working out everyday!! UGH!! I swear, the scale is the devil! My body is looking a hell of a lot better but for some STUPID reason the scale number still bothers me! My calories have been in check and my workouts are great.. so WHAT gives? I HATE the excuse thats its muscle or water weight but maybe it is. Anyway, that kind of put me over the edge and I needed to get out a good cry. Luckily I do go to a therapist who helps me sort my thoughts. Its really such a great thing to have because you get a view from an outside person who isn’t emotionally attached to you at all. So I spilled it all to him and by the time I walked out an enormous amount of pressure was lifted. Who knows how long that will last because my crazy mind does seem to wonder back again but he did help me come to some answers once again.
I have been reading a lot lately. I really like reading autobiographies. I love hearing other people’s stories and what people have been through to get where they are.
Today I have been cleaning up my house like crazy. Once again I let things go a bit and I needed to make things all nice and clean before I felt good. Cleaning always helps me relax and clear my mind a bit. Later I’m going to go down to the beach with my friend and go walking for a while. I am waiting until the sun isn’t quite as strong so I my face doesn’t burn. I don’t want a red nose! Then I think we’ll grab a slurpee! YUM!!
OMG!! I just got word that there is a HUGE fire by the HOLLYWOOD SIGN!! I’m sitting out on my deck right now and I looked over and there is a HUGE cloud of dark smoke!!! HOW SCARY!! I can smell the fire now too! I hope it doesn’t spread because I am really close and I don’t think being homeless right now is going to help me at all
Alright, I’ll keep you updated! Have a GREAT weekend! Oh, and here’s a picture of one of my little pooches. This one is Swayze. Yes, after Patrick Swayze… I LOVE Patrick Swayze!!
DL

















